By Matt Halvorson

I'll be honest… I'm completely exhausted. I'm so lucky to be surrounded by loved ones during this anxious time, and I'm privileged to have a safe and comfortable home to hide in, but I've never been so weary in all my life.

I've been chasing around a 10-month-old and a 21-month-old, not to mention our five- and 11-year-old boys, for more than two months now. My partner is (luckily) still working full-time (from home), and so every day I wake up with the two babies around 6, and I start drinking coffee like it's my purpose in life while tossing Cheerios like confetti around a table full of kids.

Every night, after the kids are all fed and in bed, I think to myself, now I will write someth... and then I fall asleep wherever I am, only to wake up with the babies (and the coffee) around 6 the next morning... and the cycle begins anew

So, to say that I'm tired is an understatement. The only thing that would be harder than waking up and doing all of this again tomorrow would be to not get to do all of this again tomorrow, and to feel that exhaustion give way to the pain of separation.

Because in the midst of all of this, I've seen my kids connecting with each other in new ways. I've seen them learning in ways we've almost forgotten are possible, and I've seen the oldest in particular begin to unwind and deschool after years of near-constant scheduling and shuttling back and forth.

The world changed seemingly overnight, and now, as the weeks pile on top of each other, old habits are breaking. Old ways of thinking are slipping away. And the old excuses are gone. Who says change takes time? Now we know better.

As we begin to look ahead to a new definition of "normal," let's make sure to not give in and go back through the old doors. It can be hard to let go of the familiar, especially during a crisis, but has it ever been more obvious that inequity knows no bounds? As the effects of the pandemic press down on our inequitable system, we are seeing all the cracks we hadn't noticed before — seeing the injustice that permeates our society highlighted by a faceless virus. We are learning more clearly than ever just how powerful we are as a people when we come together — and just how quickly a sickness can spread among us when we are divided.

When it comes to our schools, the old ways haven't been serving all kids well. We have known that for many years, and Seattle Public Schools is starting to demonstrate that it recognizes this as well, making unpopular but equitable decisions around access to virtual learning and good grades for high-school students during the quarantine. And we know by now that neutrality is a myth. 

As we consider how and when formal education will resume, we must ask ourselves: is what we are doing liberatory? Or is it oppressive?

Matt Halvorson is a musician and writer living in Seattle with his partner, Lindsay, and their four kids. He is the founder of Rise Up for Students, a blog advocating for equity in education in Seattle and beyond, and of the Rise Up Music Project. Matt’s most recent album, “Sermons,” is available everywhere except Amazon.